Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
