You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
