i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
It's no shave November. This is our time.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
