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• (310): View more from California

  i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"

  Fav 8 4779 1987

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  nobody was home so I boiled the dildo

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• (512): View more from Texas

  just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am

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• (813): View more from Florida

  You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.

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