we made out on top of his cat.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
