how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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