I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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