He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
i think my cat just said my name.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize