life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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