Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
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No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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