There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
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It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
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I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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