Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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