Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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