Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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