you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
