waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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