I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Randomize
