And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
