My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
