We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
