i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
