The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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