What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hospital has no fireball
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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