Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
