Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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