and next time when you feel me up, do it right
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
