u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
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