i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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