Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Randomize
