Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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