I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
