So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it