Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding