I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
