So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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