Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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