i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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