How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize