Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
sex in a hospital.. check
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
