I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Im part way to drunk.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
