I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
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