He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
