Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
