I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
