she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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