You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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