She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
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I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
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Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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