U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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