i can't believe i had my finger in that
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
