its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
