Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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