I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
