whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
