so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Are my feet made of real feet?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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