After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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