yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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