i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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