he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I am mentally ready for anal.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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