where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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