I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
