Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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