I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
