They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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