So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
