you turned your livingroom into a bong?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
