SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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