At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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