Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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