i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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