Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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