she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
