I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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