we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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