Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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