Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
