I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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